Monthly Archives: November 2010

Ryanair service so bad even Hitler won’t fly them

Ryanair, the World’s most hated airline, have such a bad reputation that even Adolf Hitler wouldn’t fly them, according to a short film we found on YouTube.

Apparently, Hitler’s first experience with the ‘airline’ involved a trip to Rome which resulted in him landing in a tiny tin hut airport 300km away near Naples. Mussolini even had to shout his cab fare to finish the remainder of the trip.  Sounds familiar.

Enjoy the film…and be sure to LIKE US ON FACEBOOK for more amusing stories!!!

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Ryanair in passenger mutiny drama

Ryanair, the World’s most hated airline, left passengers on a plane, locking the toilet doors and turning out the lights earlier this week.

The flight, which departed Morocco for France, was forced to land at Liege Airport in Belgium when heavy fog created poor visibility. Along with the Ryanair flight, three other planes were forced to divert to Liege. Of the four planes, the three other flights’ passengers opted for free bus tickets and continued on their journey to France, 350kms away.

More than 100 angry Ryanair passengers staged a sit-in in the aircraft cabin, refusing to get off.

Media outlets interviewed passengers, who said that the aircraft left Morocco three hours later than scheduled and then landed abruptly in Belgium without warning. One passenger said that no one had informed travellers that the jet would be landing.

Reda Yahiyaoui, a businessman who was travelling with his wife, a two-month-old baby and a three-year-old, said passengers had been left with no water and the toilets in the plane were locked.

“The pilot left and he even left the cockpit door open,” he said.

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Ryanair demonstration on how to publicly humiliate passengers

Ryanair, the World’s most hated airline, are well known for their draconian behaviour when it comes to carry on luggage restrictions.

However, this often results in creative ideas by passengers intent on getting round any extra charges.

A group of young ladies were recently filmed as they were forced to unpack as much of their luggage as possible, putting on many layers of clothing just so that their bags fit in the carry-on luggage “sizing” contraption.

Whilst the video is hilarious, it does also highlight just how ridiculous Ryanair’s rules are. The same total weight is still boarding the aircraft proving that this is simply a way of generating extra revenue based on the fact that many passengers will simply cough up the cash to avoid the humiliation.

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Ryanair to offer reduced passenger security checks

Ryanair, the Worlds most hated airline, are reportedly set to become the first airline to provide less security checks on passengers, provided they pay extra for it.

Spankthenews.com report that “Airport security checks have in recent year become absurdly excessive, with passengers being required to scan laptops separately and remove their shoes, but Ryanair has said you can keep your shoes on if you give them more than your shoes are worth“.

Apparently Ryanair CEO Michael O’Leary commented “Our customers have been complaining about the checks for a number of years, so I had to ask myself my favourite question: how can I squeeze some money out of the bastards from this? It was obvious. Make them pay more to actually do less, in traditional Ryanair style.

Those eejits can have anything they want if they’re willing to pay an extortionate amount for it.

Spankthenews reckon that suicide bombers have welcomed the news of a possible reduction in security procedures but that they point blank refuse to carry out operations on Ryanair aircraft because they consider travelling on this sad excuse of an airline “a fate even worse than death“.

Spankthenews asked wannabe martyr Tariq Ovpiz about his opinions on flying Ryanair. He said “Seriously, it’s horrible. Not only do you lose the will to live, but you even lose the will to die. The last time I flew with them, the chair was so fucking tight that I got cramp in my arm and I couldn’t even set my detonator off. Osama gave me a right bollocking for that one.

Full article available here:

http://www.spankthenews.com/html/article-detail.php?ArtID=168

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Ryanair’s O’Leary spouts manure following cargo bomb plot

The CEO of Ryanair, the Worlds most hated airline, has been gobbing off again this week about airport security following the recent and failed plot by al-Qaeda to blow up cargo aircraft.

MoL claims that there will be “another huge lurch by the securicrats into making travel even more uncomfortable and an even more tedious ordeal for the travelling public“.

What a mighty fine hypocrite he is.

Ryanair have for the past decade done their utmost to ensure that travelling by air is the most uncomfortable experience more money than you think you are going to pay buys you.

Online booking
Ryanair’s website is loathed by millions. Firstly, it looks like it was designed by a drunken militant in a dark cave. Secondly, it attempts to extract cash out of you by sneaking extra charges such as travel insurance onto your booking that, unless you are wise to the scam, will end up being purchased by unsuspecting travellers.

The entire booking process has to be one of the most tedious ordeals anyone can possibly go through. Ryanair’s route map has even won awards for being completely useless!

Destinations
Arriving in a field in the middle of nowhere and then being presented with the only option of having a 2 hour bus ride to get to where you thought you were flying to can be pretty ‘tedious’. It also adds on considerable cost to the price of the airfare that is already much higher than advertised. How MoL thinks this is making travel more comfortable we just do not know.

New security measures
The new security measures being discussed by Home Secretary Theresa May and moaned about by Ryanair are related to freight, not passenger routes. However, judging by the shockingly bad service that you get on a Ryanair flight perhaps this is why MoL is concerned?

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